I understand holidays can be really depressing for some.  Some people get really sad at Christmas-time and New Years.  Father's Day is my depressing holiday.  I had a father, I just never knew him.  And then he died before I could reunite with him as an adult child.  Kind of ruins any chance for a happily ever after there, huh? 

But on a happier note, my 3 girls got to be with their Dad on Fathers Day.   They flew out early this morning and made it to Virginia by 11 am.  So good for them, yay!  I couldn't believe how crowded the airport was.  My two older girls make me so proud, taking their little sister and being substitute mommies.  I'm so glad I have those girls in my life.  I am a better person for having raised them.  Truly, I am.  How could I possibly know this, you might say?  How do I know I wouldn't have been an equally modest, enlightened, caring person had I not had kids.  Because all I cared about before my children were born was drinking, screwing around, shopping, and me... Me, me, me, me, me!  And I hurt a lot of people.  And I didn't give a shit.  Well, I cared.  I cried.  But I moved on, rather quickly.  Because all that mattered was me.  That's it.  So I just know where my life would've led me!  The same place it led my mother.  Regardless, my kids are just awesome people and I'm so happy to be a part of their lives.  I strive to be a better person every single day just to make them proud of me.

Anyway, so now I am so tired and falling asleep at the computer.  I will shove off now and catch up on my sleep.  Hope everyone had a great Father's Day, especially all you great fathers.    Hurray for being a special part of your kids life everyday.  Not just on DAD'S DAY!

I've been away for quite a while I know.  Long story!  Can't make it short.  Someday I will share some of what is going on in my life.  But until then you can listen to me rant.  Yay! fun, right??? What has got me ticked lately.  Everything.  I'm a raging, hormonal, psychotic bi-otch.  I hate being so judgemental over people and things that are none of my business. I have no frickin right.  NONETHELESS....I am. 

It's not my job and certainly not my right to be the morality police or the expert on child rearing.  But I just get so ticked off when I see the way some people are raising their kids.  I ask you?  Why would you allow a 13 year old child to cuss you out. Knowingly, blatantly skip school at least once a week.  And call his little 2 year old brother a f****r right in front of you.  Okay, I say allow because it goes on.  No punishment, no restrictions.  Just a lot of yelling and threats, but never any reprecussions for the child.

I will admit to being the queen of guilty mothering & I'm not perfect.  Some mother is probably speaking of me saying, "Why would anyone let their child keep their room messy & not force them to do their chores everyday?"  Yep, I know.  I screw up royally at times.  I've just never allowed cussing me or screaming at me.  I've never been violent, but I've been evil and consistent and firm.  I will not tolerate "backtalking".  In the instance that it becomes a blatant disregard for me as a person.  I do however allow my kids to negotiate or state their own opinions, etc.  And I have said some pretty harsh things when pushed to the brink of insanity.  But for the most part, I've just stated..."You will not be allowed to speak to me that way....EVER!" 

And now that my girls are 15 and 17, I never have to say anything about the way they speak to me.  They speak to me freely and openly and confront me with their problems and issues.  And they seem to respect me, but who knows.  I just feel extremely blessed and satisfied.  And a few dirty dishes and some dirty socks on the floor can't ruin that.  Now if I can just get to that point with my 9 year old daughter (the mouth on wheels) and my 4 year old son (heck on wheels).  This should be fun.  Hopefully, I will still have some hair left and won't be residing in a nice facility (wearing a pretty white jacket) by that time!

-Mother Theresa

I hope that in some way the families of those who died in this tragedy will be able to find some comfort, relief, and happiness someday.  It will be an awesome struggle to overcome such devastating loss.  I weep for the children, the parents, and the loved ones who have lost so much.  It must be a horrendous nightmare dealing with all of this.  My heart goes out to them all.

My heart is heavy and sad this week and all I can really do is make this small page as a memorial.  The overwhelming magnitude of this disaster is something that can't be put into words.  I express my sadness and grief for the victims and their loved ones.  And pray for them each and every day!